A year of silence

Dear you,

How are you? I hope you're doing great today! It's already February and I am still not writing a summary of what happened to me last year. Well, there's nothing much interesting, but it was a year of silence for me.

A lot of Christians experience the same situation as mine where one don't actually know if God is still listening to their prayers or if they still know how to pray. Yes, it happens. It happened to me last year, like the whole year of 2015. It was painful and hard but I have to endure it because I believe that God will life me up from that situation. I still have my faith but it became hard for me to pray and to understand God's word deeply. I wasn't active in our church activities and ministry. I have attended lots of Christian social events but I feel like it wasn't enough. I have tried attending different evangelical churches around the province but still, I feel so incomplete. One day, I prayed, "Lord, can You still hear me?" But there was nothing. I feel nothing, hear nothing, see nothing, I was so lost.

It wasn't easy to talk about your faith when you are not really confident about it. But I thank God for the struggle I had. It had lead to the truth that I was actually seeking more of JESUS. More of Him in my life. I thought I was loosing my faith but I realized that God was taking it to the next level. One verse that woke me up in this misery was Matthew 4:19-20  "Come,follow me," Jesus said, "And I will send you out to fish for people. At once they left their nets and followed Him." I was craving for Jesus, longing for more of Him, hungry and thirsty. It was then when I prayed to God and asked Him to hug me tightly again even when I know He never stopped hugging me. He's so amazing. He used so many people to open up my eyes and show me how God loves me so so so much. He never stopped pursuing me. I was seeking though I thought I was escaping. He changed me and found me again. He accepted me again as His beloved daughter.

2016 started off so well and I felt that God has given me another year to live for a purpose, and I will not put it in vain. I hope you won't have a year of silence this year. You are precious and God is calling you to the next level, let Him.

I love you in Christ!

Love,

The Diarist.