My Boyfriend's Boyfriend

So many love stories are told. Some of them ended up good, some ended up sad. But at the end of every story, there is hope, there is joy, and most especially, there is love.

Masaya na ako sa love story ng buhay ko. I'm Kae, 2nd year BS Psychology student. My boyfriend, Jake, is my childhood bestfriend and his family are close to mine. So, kung titingnan ang relationship namin, it may look so perfect! We actually fell in love with each other nung highschool pa kami. Classmates lang naman kase kami simula preschool hanggang highschool. But everything's changed nung college na.

Nakapasa siya sa UP Diliman, and I took BS Psychology in UST. But I thought everything would be easy, pero hindi. Our schedules don't fit., we rarely see each other. And the worst is, we don't get a chance to talk, even on phone. I feel so cold about our relationship. That's why I broke up with him.

"You're sad. You're confused. You want to do something but you don't have enough strenght to do it. You're not you right now." A seatmate assesed me dahil activity namin yun sa subject namin. He definitely knew what I really feel! Awesome!

In awe, I looked at him, "Ang galing! Paano mo nalaman? We just met right?" He came closer "Hmmm. Kahit yung hindi psychologist, malalaman ang nararamdam mo. You look sad kase." Then a tear drops. "I don't know. May mga bagay kase sa buhay natin ang hindi natin makokontrol. Di ba? Kahit gaano ko kagusto makita yung boyfriend ko, I mean ex-boyfriend, I can't, because he's too busy. We're too busy."

He tapped my shoulder na as if super close kami. "Well, that's okay. Kami din ng boyfriend ko ganyan." 

My eyes got bigger after hearing those line? "Boyfriend? Wait? Nagkamali ka ata?"  Tapos tumawa siya. Nako naman! "Yes, you heard it right. I may look like a good-looking young man, but I'm gay."

"GAY?" I shouted and still not believing everything he just said. "Yes, I'm gay. Lahat dito alam yun noh!" 

After that weird conversation, naging super close kami ni seatmate named Josh. He's weird and do the weidest thing I could ever imagine. I pulls out the weidest part of me. He's like my other half. HAHAHA. Everybody noticed our closeness and anyone would thought that we're in a relationship. HAHA. Hindi kami talo, please.

"So, what happened to your bofriend?" I asked him hoping he could share his story about 'being gay' this time. "Hmmm. Ano nga ba? We met nung 4th year highschool ako, I mean kami. Pareho kami nagexam sa UP. But unfortunately, I didn't passed kaya siya lang yung nakapasok sa UP." In confusion, I asked him more and more questions. "Really? My boyfriend is in UP din! Anyway, so after exam naging kayo na?" Super natawa naman siya sa tanong ko. Duh? "LOL. Hindi noh. Siguro after 1 year pa. Kasi nagpakiramdam muna kami kung pareho kami gay. HAHAHA. But good thing, we are both gay." I want more..."Ahhh. Umm. Is there any chance na ma-inlove ka sa girl?" Nagulat siya. As in! Napatayo pa siya sa bangko niya! "Girl? Ummmm. Tara, lunch na?" Then I stood at pinalo siya! "I hate you! Hindi mo naman sinasagot ang tanong ko e!" Tapos bigla siyang humarap sa akin..."Bakit? Ikaw ba? Pwede ka din bang ma-inlove sa bakla?" Matagal ko siyang tiningnan pero I can't take it. Di ko alam ang isasagot ko. "Tara na. Lunch na tayo."

Hindi ko akalain na sa pabiro-biro namin ni Josh, nagkakagusto na pala ako sa kanya. :( But I can't. So I had to talk to Jake dahil alam niyang kaya kong sabihin lahat sa kanya even my wildest secrets.

I called Jake on the phone and luckily, he wanted to see me too. "Babe, I missed you so much" Nung magkita kami, yan agad yung sinabi ni Jake...Nakakapanibago. Dahil noon, kahit gaano kami katagal nagkalayo, pag nagkita kami, I love you agad ang sasabihin niya. "I love you too." Dahil yan ang nakasanayan kong sagot sa kanya. Kahit nagbreak na kami, parang wala padin nagbago. Kasi we're more of bestfriends than lovers. "Babe, may kailangan akong sabihin sayo." What? Di lang ako ang may kailangan sabihin? Oh no! "Ano yon? Ako din may sasabihin." He held my hands. Mukhang super seryoso siya! "Babe, I'm in love with someone else." What is the meaning of this? After all these years? "Babe, what? Oo nag-aantay ako pero hindi ako nasasaktan. Please." Because I love him so much, umiyak din ako ng sobra. Why do these things have to happen? "Alam mo babe, mas nasasaktan ako sa ginagawa mo ngayon. I thought everything's fine. Akala ko walang bibitaw? Bakit ganito? I broke up with you just because you said you want to focus on your studies. Pero ano toh?" Hindi naman siya makatingin sakin ng tuwid. Alam kong there is more to say Then he cried. "Paano mo nagawa yon?" Hindi ko na alam kung ano pang mararamdaman ko ngayon. This is my first heartache. "Hindi ko pa kayang sabihin sayo lahat. But in time. Masasabi ko din sayo."  Ayoko na mag-end up kami na may sama ng loob sa isa't-isa. Kaya I left my words unsaid para wala nang gulo. "Okay. You'll always be my bestfriend."

The next day, I was so down and sad, samantalang ang baklang si Josh, super saya! "Girl, ano? Bakit ka na naman ganyan?" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Niyakap ko na si Josh at humagulgol. "Josh, he's in love with someone else na." Tumayo siya na parang may susugurin. "Ano? Tara? Bubugbugin ko na" Napangiti naman ako "Loko ka. Matangkad yon! Pati lalaki yon. Kaya mo ba?" Tapos, nag akto siyang lalaking-lalaki. "Bakit? Lalaki din naman ako ah? HAHAHA" I'm so happy that at his simple actions, napapasaya niya ako. Pero as time pass by, I almost forgot that hurtful moment with Jake. Oo, awkward na kalimutan nalang yung basta. But there is this point in my life na naging masaya ako dahil kay Josh.

One day, nagkayayaan kami maginom ni Josh. Well, we both don't drink. Talaga lang trip namin. We were at his dormitory this time.

"Kae, tanong ko ulit? Pwede ka bang mainlove sa bakla?" There goes that weird question again. "Ummm. Oo, basta ikaw! HAHAHA" Nagulat lang din ako sa sagot ko. "Really? Umm. Kae, I love you." What? Teka... Bakit ang bilis? "Josh? Ano?" He hold my hands...wow! Ang lamig ng kamay niya. "I said I love you." ASDFGHJKL! "But..." No! No! No! "I'm gay? Sabi mo okay lang? I can break up with my boyfriend for you. Gusto ko na ng real relationship. Real love. Real talk. Gusto ko ikaw." Is this really happening? "Sus! Lasing ka na!" then bang! He fell asleep. So, umalis na ako sa dormitory niya na mukhang familiar naman sa akin kaya mabilis lang ako nakauwi.

The next day, bumalik ako sa dorm niya hoping na alam ko pa yung way. Then narealize ko na iisa lang sila Jake at Josh ng dorm na tinutuluyan. Bago ako pumasok ng room niya, I heard a conversation. "I'm breaking up with you. I loved someone else. And this time babae siya. Mahal ko siya." Mukhang totoo nga ang sinasabi ni Josh kagabi. But I feel so sad for the other gay. "Gumawa ako ng paraan para i-break ako ng girlfriend ko just for you. Tapos ito igaganti mo sakin? You can't!" Since that voice sounds familiar, I opened the door and saw Josh kissing another man. But suprisingly, I saw Jake kissing him. "Kae..." I stood for a minute sa harap ng pintuan but I cannot fully grasp everything I saw. I was in shocked. "Babe... Anong ginagawa mo dito? I can't believe that the man I loved was in love with the man I love. "Wait, Jake, magkakilala kayo?" Josh asked Jake as he talks to me. "Siya yung girlfriend ko." I cried and ran away. Sobrang dami ng information na kailangan kong i-absorb. At tingin ko hindi na kaya ng memory ko. Bakit kailangan ako pa? Bakita kailangan maging ganito kaliit ang mga mundo namin? Josh and Jake followed me. "Kae..." Hinarap ko sila. Galit ako! Sobrang galit! "I hate you! I  hate you! Bakit kailangan ako ang saktan niyo? Bakit ako?" Alam kong wala sa amin ang may kasalanan kaya hindi ko din alam kung paano ako magrereact. "Kae, hindi ko rin alam na siya pala yung boyfriend na kinukwento mo. But believe me, I love you." As of now, I cannot carry another heartache. Gusto ko nalang mapag-isa. "Please. Kung magmamahal lang din kayong dalawa, lalaki nalang! Wag niyo na ako guluhin." I ran away with tears in my eyes. Ang sakit kase.

After what happened, I transfered to another school and lived my life as it is. No lovelife, no stressful relationships and everything. I moved on. I learned from what happened. That not all men are man enough. But I believe that gays can love you as a girl dahil naramdaman ko ang love sakin ni Jake at ni Josh. And because I am still Jake's bestfriend, I kept his secret.

On my graduation day, I was hoping that one of them would come. "Ma, nagpunta po ba?" For the nth time, I asked my mom that question. "O, ayan na." I saw Jake... "Babe..." Babe padin talaga? "Ummm. Jake, thanks for coming."  Napansin siguro ni Jake na natingin-tingin ako sa paligid "I don't know if he is coming. I lost communication with him nadin. I broke up with him and realized that I don't really like same gender" What do you mean by that Jake?" Ummmm. I just want to tell you that I love you and I always will. Please give me another chance?" 

And because I love him, still, I gave Jake a chance and we are now on our 5th year annoversary and counting. Then one day at a mall, we saw Josh holding a girls hand and he introduced her to us as his girlfriend!

We may find ourselves confused at many things, but if we trully love someone, we will never give up on them. I loved Josh, but I love Jake so much. Gumawa man sila ng pagkakamali noon, at least, they learned from what they did. At hindi ko pinagisisihan na nag-krus ang landan naming tatlo. And I am proud about it. That once in my life, I can say that I once fell in love with MY BOYFRIEND'S BOYFRIEND.