Tuwentitertin

It's January 26 now at ngayon ko lang naisipan gumawa ng blog for 2013. :) Okay here we go!

What happened last 2013?

I have learned from an inspiring author of LOVESTRUCK, Ronald Molmisa, that for you to be able to move-on from the past (He's talking about ex-relationship here), you should enumerate everything that happened, good or bad. So I'm gonna apply his concept of 'moving on' even though I didn't had a boyfriend to move on for. HAHA

First thing, 2013 for me is the most challenging and hardest year of my life. Why? Because this is where I found myself being at my weakest and strongest point. I have cried lots and lots of tears and laughed when I'm in front of many people. I have been a "cry-myself-to-sleep-" person and this has made me stronger.

January  - toot toot. Di ko na masiyado matandaan ang mga nangyari sa buwan na ito basta ang alam ko ito yung time na OJT ako at nahihirapan akong makita siya sa kapitolyo. NAKO!

February  - SINGLES MONTH! Sorry. :) HAHAH

 March  - Ito yung month na nagsstruggle na ako ng "Where to go? Where to apply?" Ang hirap! I have carved in my heart that I'll be a writer in the future and it's so hard to look for a job na magfifit na gusto kong gawin. Di pa man ako na-graduate, nagiging back to zero na agad ang knowledge ko about life. I don't know how to decide for myself. Naging OJT-writer ako sa Provincial Capitol of Laguna and I found myself being soooo passionate with what I am doing. Then, after ng lahat ng hirap ko sa pag-aaral, nakagraduate din! The best gift I could ever give to my parents! What's next? Let's see!

April -May  - I commited myself to church activities and naging staff ako for DOERS (Disciples of Every Reached Society) where it lasted until end of May. Antagal noh? Ang saya kaya! We went through many trainings and we were sent to different places where we applied everything that we learned from our training. Two weeks before matapos ang DOERS, tinawagan ako ng PCBS for a job! :)

May-June  - Unfortunately, it was not a very great experience. Dito ko naranasan makipagsagutan sa boss ko. Dito ko nakita yung "mataray" side ko. Dito ako, I must say, naging masama. HUHU. I am working sa isang Christian bookstore but I don't feel like I am. Pressured, stressed, namamayat (?) lito. MY first job wasn't that great. But I still thank God for that experience. Mas nakilala ko ang sarili ko at mas nalaman ko ang mga dapat kong maging ugali sa iba't ibang tao.Sorry for these months LORD! :(

July  - toot toot. Kroo kroo

August  - Job Hunting mode with Eben! HAHAHAHA! Naligaw! Nag-taxi, nag-LRT, nag-MRT! In short, nagjob-hunting sa Manila! And ending, ayaw ko pala sa Manila. HAHA. But it was a great experience tho. Nakipag-rally ako against PORK BARREL. (Totoo po yun!) I met new bekfriends (Di po ako typo. BEKS nga) I learned a new way of meditating at nakipagbonding with bestfriend in a more mature way. :) Masaya! Masaya!

September  - Realization...  Ang tagal na. Almost 2 years na ang nakalipas nung huling naging okay kami ni Yatz (Jerick Cabantog) Masiyado pang magiging mahaba ang post na ito kung ikwento ko pa kung pano nangyari, di narin naman mahalaga. But anyways, it may be harsh to think, pero inunfriend ko siya sa fb, binura ko ang lahat ng pictures namin, lahat ng mga bagay na magpapaalala ng mga tungkol sa kanya. Dahil kahit hanggang nung September, kahit ang tagal na, nasasaktan padin ako nun. Engers lang. Ito din yata yung month na Natapos ko nang basahin yung "I kissed dating goodbye" na nakapagpabago ng perspective ko sa "romantic love".

October- December  - Ang bilis nuh? HAHAHA. This was the greatest month of my 2013! Like really! This were the months that I started working at Malayan Colleges Laguna. Here is where I met amazing people, amazing boss, amazing workmates, amazing environment! Lahat amazing! Dito ko nakita ang positive side ng career path ko. Dito ko nakita lalo ang sarili ko. Here is where I want to invest my passion. Noon ko narealize kung bakit ako hindi nagkawork in the past few months because God has prepared something greated for me! And this is it! :) Ngayon month din nakita ko ang sarili ko na patuloy na lumalakad sa daan ng turning point ko. Dahil, since it was turning, I am continually turning. :) Ang saya lang! Akala ko matatapos ang taon na ito na jobless padin ako, but God heared my prayers and my heart's desires. Dito ko din nakilala si Shir....HAHAHA Only God and my bestfriend knows that! Di ba?

Marami akong natutunan sa 2013 about relationships, sa significant other man yan, sa family, sa friends, sa churchmates and even sa mga taong di okay sayo. I learned #ProjectLove and it was all about giving love to everyone kahit walang bumabalik sayo. It's about giving love to everyone at hindi mo pipiliin ang pagbibigyan mo ng love. Nung matutunan kong magbigay ng LOVE sa lahat, that's when I felt na madami din palang nagmamahal sakin. :)

Natutunan ko din last year na, LOVE IS PATIENT. Although I already knew that long ago, mas nareflect ko lang siya ngayon. Bakit sa 1 Cor 13, ito yung unang description ng love? Bakit kailangan patience ang una? That's because hindi mo iintayin ang isang bagay na hindi mo mahal or hindi mahalaga sa'yo. If it means a lot to you, you will PATIENTLY wait.

We may think that life is colorless, meaningless, and dull, let's just wait for the right time for this life to bloom! Malay mo, in the future, magbobloom nadin ng bonggang bongga ang life natin! :)

All in all, I thank God for giving me my colorful and meaningful 2013! I hope you all had a very meaningful 2013 too! Ang prayer ko nalang ngayon ay mas maging CHRIST-CENTERED ang year 2014 ko. :) At sa inyo din. HIHI. God bless youuuuu!

Sometimes it lasts in love, sometimes it hurts instead.

I always hear those lines and I knew that it was a part of the song "Someone like you by Adele" I honestly don't know that song until know, I just know the line..."Someone like you..woohoo" I never heard the whole song and I don't want to try hearing it. Anyways. Let's talk about...

Sometimes it lasts in love. Yes. Sometimes it's love. When you see him, you see those sparks in his eyes and all you can see is him. (Umamin ka teh!) Yes. that's right. I, myself, experienced that moment when I saw him walking along the busy road of Sta. Cruz and I saw him, carrying his greenish bag, wearing green department shirt ans blue pants, and then white shoes. Despite of my blurry vision, I saw him. And I never knew that after that day or after a week, I would have a chance to talk to him. It was all of a sudden that we've got some communication and it continued until now. I never thought that I would be so much happy. THIS HAPPY. I just know that whenever he's there beside me, I'm happy. And I thought it would last in love. I fell in love in him. I can honestly say that. With his looks, his attitude that fits with my attitude, and with the friendship we had, I fell in love. 

Sometimes it hurts instead. One thing I love about him is, he don't want to see me hurting because of him when all most of the time, the reason of all my heartaches is him. I cannot blame him for that. It's all my fault. I thought it would lasts in love, but instead, it hurts. But you know what, I don't know why I don't feel any pain tonight. Unlike before that I can almost cry myself to sleep. But now, I am typing this blogpost and saying to myself that, "It's okay. God will give you the MARTIN of your life." Why Martin? He's the man of my dreams that I haven't seen yet. 

So, the lesson I learned tonight, "Don't find love. God provided you all the love, you just have to be contented." And one thing! "Love isn't a dress that when you liked it, you may get it." It's not always "He loves me, I love him" You have to remember that his love for you may have a due date. Feelings change. I'm young. And I know that in the right time, God will show me the MARTIN of my life. I just have to wait. WAIT AND WAIT. 

Now, YOU! Please! Don't fall in love with somebody else. 

God bless! <3

God's Answer

"Lord, kung hindi po siya para sa akin, wag Niyo nalang pong iaallow na magtext siya sa akin bukas kahit alam kong magtetext siya."

June 13, 2012. 1:45 AM. I prayed to God with all the courage I have. I wanna know His answer to my endless prayer. Ang prayer ko na, "Lord, sana siya na po."

So, after praying that night, I fell asleep. Then God woke me up 6:30 in the morning. I prayed, feed my hungry spirit, prayed again and checked on my cellphone. There are maybe 5 messages. I read them all. Pero wala siyang text.

I went to school. I randomly checked my cellphone but there are still no text message from him.

I went home, check on my cellphone and still, no text message.

I get my hair firmed and I almost forgot that I was waiting for his text. Then it's around 10PM already when I checked my cellphone. OHEY! there are messages. I opened it. Read it, but non of it are from him. WAAA. There will be no other way for him to text me. I know by this time, he's asleep already.

So it is so clear to me now. God's answer is no.
But instead of being sad because the guy I've been praying for is not for me, I am happy. Knowing that God is preparing me ro be the right girl to the one He made just for me. And I'm so excited. :)

So if you're in love and you are doubting, don't be afraid to ask God's help. He's always been there and He will give you the direct answer.

BE HAPPY. GOD BLESS!

It "is less painful, but it still hurts"

He came into my life

He taught me how to love

He cared for me

He told me he love me

But then he saw her

He liked her

He left me for no reason

He hurt me but I know I can move on

because...

It is less painful, but it still hurts

and I know that I really don't deserve this

I know that this is what God just planned

I know I can move on

It is less painful but I'm hurting

It is less painful but that pain remains

I know sooner God will make a way

To heal my broken heart, ohhhhh

He's the only guy who made me feel this way

He took me deeper that I can't get up again

I can't believe I fell for that

I can't believe I'm in love this much

But then he saw her

He liked her

He left me for no reason

He hurt me but I know I can move on

because...

It is less painful, but it still hurts

and I know that I really don't deserve this

I know that this is what God just planned

I know I can move on

It is less painful but I'm hurting

It is less painful but that pain remains

I know sooner God will make a way

To heal my broken heart, ohhhhh

From now on, I'll be the best girl I can be

I learned my lesson

I realized many things

But it'll be a long process

before I forget him

I just want to say

Thank you for making me feel this way...

It is less painful, but it still hurts

and I know that I really don't deserve this

I know that this is what God just planned

I know I can move on

It is less painful but I'm hurting

It is less painful but that pain remains

I know sooner God will make a way

To heal my broken heart, ohhhhh

While I'm going back home from Caliraya, I looked at the beautiful creation of God. It is relaxing. But then, some words just popped in my head. I never knew I already composed a song. I know it is from my heartache. Maybe, by this song, I spilled out all that I want to say. The words "It is less painful but it still hurts" has a story behind it. One day at camp, Me and ate Julia(A Canadian Missionary) walked beside me and held my hand. She helped me while walking since I'm having a hard time walking because I got my leg sprained. Then she asked me, "How was your foot?" then I say, "It is less painful, but it still hurts." Then I set my eye to the sky, shed a tear, and realized that "I'm still hurt from the heartache he caused me but it is less painful now." I'm happy to feel that. I'm happy to know that I can move on. I feel much better than before. Although I still remember how happy I was when he's around, It still hurt to know that, he's not with me anymore. It's true. I'm so happy whenever he's with me. I never felt this way before. I mean that way to be happy with a guy. But it all ends now. He has found someone that would fit better to his likes. Maybe I fit in, but there's someone better. I knew God's answer was NO. I just don't want to accept God's answer that's why this heart ache happens. This is God's plan, I know. This heartache is His way to tell me, "My child, you loved the wrong guy."

Thank You Lord for this heartache. I got You point God. I learned the lesson You want to tell me. Thank You so much. 

To the "HE" guy in my song...

Thank you. You were an amazing person. I'm not mad at you just because you hurt me this way. I learned many things from you. May you have the best things in life. I know God have better plans for the both of us. THANK YOU!

God Bless!